( It's an excellent question to ask, and the answer won't be simple or healthy.
He puffs out a breath that might actually be a laugh, if you squint. Drops his eyes to the shield, and then back to the targets for a contemplative second.
He appreciates the sentiment. Appreciates the validation, that he's not a total basket case for feeling overwhelmed by everything hitting all at once. Sam from the future, Steve from the past, being on another goddamn planet. He wasn't in great shape to start with.
You got me in that messy corner of yours.
It plucks a string. )
I had three sisters growing up.
( He says finally, turning his attention back to the targets. Gears up, then spins the shield out again. Easier to talk with this little preoccupation. )
Helped look after them, helped raise 'em. Then I was looking after Steve, practically a full time job. Then I was looking after my men...
( A shift, a conceding shrug. )
Jim- Morita, he... started calling me Nanny Barnes. Stuck for a while.
( Over there in the middle of nowhere in France, or in Germany, or wherever they were backpacking in the war. Check in on Dugan. Make sure he had enough smokes. Make sure Dernier remembered to eat. Got in a bar fight for Gabe in Austria over somebody saying the wrong word at the wrong time. )
Spent so much of my life looking out for somebody else, guess I never really got good at... figuring out how to focus on myself.
( Made it way, way too easy to focus on the shield instead. That's part of why he's been looking for answers elsewhere. Part of why it's so hard to let things go. Part of why he's been saying I'm going with you this whole time. )
no subject
He puffs out a breath that might actually be a laugh, if you squint. Drops his eyes to the shield, and then back to the targets for a contemplative second.
He appreciates the sentiment. Appreciates the validation, that he's not a total basket case for feeling overwhelmed by everything hitting all at once. Sam from the future, Steve from the past, being on another goddamn planet. He wasn't in great shape to start with.
You got me in that messy corner of yours.
It plucks a string. )
I had three sisters growing up.
( He says finally, turning his attention back to the targets. Gears up, then spins the shield out again. Easier to talk with this little preoccupation. )
Helped look after them, helped raise 'em. Then I was looking after Steve, practically a full time job. Then I was looking after my men...
( A shift, a conceding shrug. )
Jim- Morita, he... started calling me Nanny Barnes. Stuck for a while.
( Over there in the middle of nowhere in France, or in Germany, or wherever they were backpacking in the war. Check in on Dugan. Make sure he had enough smokes. Make sure Dernier remembered to eat. Got in a bar fight for Gabe in Austria over somebody saying the wrong word at the wrong time. )
Spent so much of my life looking out for somebody else, guess I never really got good at... figuring out how to focus on myself.
( Made it way, way too easy to focus on the shield instead. That's part of why he's been looking for answers elsewhere. Part of why it's so hard to let things go. Part of why he's been saying I'm going with you this whole time. )