[ What has she already done? Killed, lied, betrayed, manipulated, even hurt enemies when fear needed to be her weapon. She's also starved, been captured, lost friends, grieved and kept going.
Now she's taking the risk to build something instead of fight, and it isn't The Reason, but it's not as though she can unsee what she's seen, and what it would mean for a former drüskelle to accept that Grisha were not evil, and learning how to reach others as opposed to simply having to defend. She'd much rather try to change a culture by leeching out the hatred somehow than have to work to defeat it. ]
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[ What has she already done? Killed, lied, betrayed, manipulated, even hurt enemies when fear needed to be her weapon. She's also starved, been captured, lost friends, grieved and kept going.
Now she's taking the risk to build something instead of fight, and it isn't The Reason, but it's not as though she can unsee what she's seen, and what it would mean for a former drüskelle to accept that Grisha were not evil, and learning how to reach others as opposed to simply having to defend. She'd much rather try to change a culture by leeching out the hatred somehow than have to work to defeat it. ]