[ To be someone's friend is a progression, this is something Nina has learned. You can say that you're friends when all you do is wear the same kefta color and sit at the table, and though you share no secrets you still find harbor with the likeness there against the blast of distrust and envy of the rest of the Grisha. Heartrenders are, after all, the general's favorite soldiers.
You can say that you're friends when you stand shoulder to shoulder against an incoming foray of bullets, raise your hands together and inflict death over and over again.
And you can say that you're friends when someone has you by the shoulders and is not quite yelling, not quite not yelling at you to stop, to come back, to be better than this... and you do.
So Nina won't say that this testing proves that she and Alina were not the friends she thought, she won't allow the rejection and fear she's experienced to have a louder voice than what she can see with her own eyes -- Alina is afraid. She's asking these questions because she's looking for something, and whether or not she found it in Nina's honesty is beside the point, because whatever it is was not enough to quiet her fear. And Nina is a monster and a weapon and fear isn't something she can ignore, not after this, not when she's seen it in Alina too many times. ]
Is that [ there is not enough emphasis to warrant italics on the word 'that', but the emphasis is nonetheless present ] what you're afraid of?
[ And she waits, she makes the question like an open door. ]
no subject
You can say that you're friends when you stand shoulder to shoulder against an incoming foray of bullets, raise your hands together and inflict death over and over again.
And you can say that you're friends when someone has you by the shoulders and is not quite yelling, not quite not yelling at you to stop, to come back, to be better than this... and you do.
So Nina won't say that this testing proves that she and Alina were not the friends she thought, she won't allow the rejection and fear she's experienced to have a louder voice than what she can see with her own eyes -- Alina is afraid. She's asking these questions because she's looking for something, and whether or not she found it in Nina's honesty is beside the point, because whatever it is was not enough to quiet her fear. And Nina is a monster and a weapon and fear isn't something she can ignore, not after this, not when she's seen it in Alina too many times. ]
Is that [ there is not enough emphasis to warrant italics on the word 'that', but the emphasis is nonetheless present ] what you're afraid of?
[ And she waits, she makes the question like an open door. ]