[ slowly, alina nods. it's a barely perceptible thing. a mere inch of movement. like she's worried somehow kirigan might see her make the gesture and figure out what she knows. she's been teetered on the edge of a knife since arriving here. ]

I'm afraid that if I go back to Ravka, I won't be in control of what my power is used to do. [ the words stagger past her lips. ] I'm afraid that I haven't been in control of it since Kribirsk.

[ but she still can't trust. not completely. she reels it back, hides behind the safest sort of treason. nina is obviously more loyal to the grisha than to the king. there seems to be a lot of that around the little palace. ]

I'm afraid of what lengths the King might make me go to. And I won't have a choice. You know what happens to deserters.