[He wants to turn her question back on her: does she think his virtue is in his cock? If that was the only kind of honor that mattered, his is stained.
It’s that he remembers an easy exchange of those kinds of words with her — and of other things — that stops him from saying it. It’s because he doesn’t want to fall into that again with her, particularly when she doesn’t remember it at all. He does not like the man who had bedded her so enthusiastically.
Instead, he finds himself adding something else without meaning to, as if the words are being drawn out of him.]
I had a lover. She is dead. A spearwife — she died in battle.
continuing salty language + unfortunate pollen experiences
[He wants to turn her question back on her: does she think his virtue is in his cock? If that was the only kind of honor that mattered, his is stained.
It’s that he remembers an easy exchange of those kinds of words with her — and of other things — that stops him from saying it. It’s because he doesn’t want to fall into that again with her, particularly when she doesn’t remember it at all. He does not like the man who had bedded her so enthusiastically.
Instead, he finds himself adding something else without meaning to, as if the words are being drawn out of him.]
I had a lover. She is dead. A spearwife — she died in battle.
[He frowns. He doesn’t like that he’s said this.]