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HATCHING LOG 002
WHO: All PCs
WHAT: New characters arrive on Ethyraia and settle in at the Basecamp!
WHEN: July 8th onward
WHERE: Basecamp Leviathan
NOTES/WARNINGS: Potential character nudity, violence, trypophobia (images) as well as light mentions of gore, alcohol and drug-use.
WHAT: New characters arrive on Ethyraia and settle in at the Basecamp!
WHEN: July 8th onward
WHERE: Basecamp Leviathan
NOTES/WARNINGS: Potential character nudity, violence, trypophobia (images) as well as light mentions of gore, alcohol and drug-use.
HATCHING LOG 002 ❀
CONTENT WARNINGS: potential character nudity, violence, trypophobia (images) as well as light mentions of gore, alcohol and drug-use, light aphrodisiac effects (optional), and references to mass death.
Players who participated in our TDM are welcome to keep their CR and the content of those threads. Please make sure to chat this out on the OOC intro & CR meme before making assumptions. Please take your time reading the hatching and basecamp bullets, as some items have been altered or expanded.
This time, the Adamant's survivors are ready. When the Hatchlings arrive, they are no longer held at gunpoint or the tip of a spear. They are helped up, taken to the showers, given time to clean themselves.
They are still quarantined for a few days — albeit in a more comfortable setting. An area of the Theatre has been set up with emergency bunking and privacy screens. Each bunk has a small bundle of amenities on it — a change of clothing (that may be too big or too small, too fine or too plain, feel free to swap!) and what precious else can be spared, including a small tube of protein paste. Given that the theater doubles as a childcare center for the basecamp, your character may find that any toddler-aged children will stare hungrily at these tubes!
Ensign Ashley Porter flits about this emergency station at all hours, chatting amicably at people. Explaining the situation. He's reasonably certain it's his fault — the entire 'hatching' process seemed to start after he tripped one day and fell into the Central Chrysalis. This disturbance must have triggered the process of pulling in people from other universes. He's terribly sorry and will say he understands if people want to be angry at him or hate him for it. He also makes mention of the fact that some people have found personal items if they return to the Chrysalis — in eggs, like the ones they woke up in.
The Hatchlings are given a few days to acclimate, and then they are expected to contribute to the duties around camp. The day-to-day life in Basecamp Leviathan is not glamorous. Repairs are always needing to be done, food is always needing to be made, dishes always needing to be washed. Anyone with specialized skills will probably be snapped up by a division before too long!
A few notes:
Unfortunately, the thessyx clear out of the basecamp shortly after witnessing the second hatching, before the new children of the leviathan are cleared of quarantine. Their exit is prompt and quiet, their visit clearing like the end of a summer rain. They do not make the rounds for goodbyes, but simply remove themselves graciously from their hosts' camp.
However, even after their departure, the basecamp is abuzz with questions about the thessyx. How had they known the hatchlings arrived? What did they mean about chosen? While some are markedly suspicious and moody about the special treatment afforded to the hatchlings by their long-term neighbors, most of the Adamant survivors have been strongly influenced by the generosity and composure of those hatchlings who shared their food during the feast and who represented the hatchlings during the meeting with Childe. Word gets around!
The theater folks pack up their talent show, which culminated in a rousing performance of Tristan and Yseult that brought tears to the thessyx's eyes (or would have, if they had tear ducts). The art installations, however, remain. New paintings hang and new sculptures stand in the streets, plazas, and public spaces near the theater and the bunks.
Failing considerable progress in his extermination campaign, Rémi and the security force stay busy reluctantly adopting the hatchlings' plan to funnel any stray lingering 'shredder moles' (their new names) from the basecamp as they crop out of the various sinkholes. They use a two-pronged attack to steer the moles in the right direction: they use strong-smelling cleaning chemicals to divert the moles from high-value areas like the mess hall, aid station, and bunks; and they use metal plates to create temporary tunnels that funnel the critters on the fastest route between the sink hole and the edge of camp, where they can scamper off to join their surviving friends.
However, many of the critters are dead, some of the animal corpses divided between the aid station and the engineering department that would seek to do science on them. In medical, they're trying to better understand the anatomy of the critters and develop an understanding of the natural wildlife on this planet that could help them develop antidotes for various poisons and so forth. Similarly, engineering is interested in making use of their hides for greater safety for the Adamant's survivors, but it seems like the grunt work of figuring out how to separate the impenetrable hides from the carcasses is left to the newbies. The rest of the engineering department has bigger fish to fry — the giant holes appearing all over the base.
All hands are on deck from engineering volunteers as Thorkil tries to rally an effort to fortify the very ground beneath the basecamp where the shredder moles had tunneled. This project will continue for the remainder of the month and involve some particular efforts by innovative hatchlings like Ian, but also more traditional approaches like soil fills, new concrete pours, and the erecting of support beams that dig deeper into the earth beneath the steel plates of the basecamp's flooring.
Anyone with engineering who isn't working on this project is charged with helping with the fortifications of the theater, which is the de facto emergency shelter, or repairing the showers to prevent the loss of too much desalinated water. Regardless, the basecamp is thoroughly under construction in most of its major community areas. Basketball games are cancelled for the foreseeable future!
Life around the basecamp:
Players who participated in our TDM are welcome to keep their CR and the content of those threads. Please make sure to chat this out on the OOC intro & CR meme before making assumptions. Please take your time reading the hatching and basecamp bullets, as some items have been altered or expanded.
❀ HATCHING
This time, the Adamant's survivors are ready. When the Hatchlings arrive, they are no longer held at gunpoint or the tip of a spear. They are helped up, taken to the showers, given time to clean themselves.
They are still quarantined for a few days — albeit in a more comfortable setting. An area of the Theatre has been set up with emergency bunking and privacy screens. Each bunk has a small bundle of amenities on it — a change of clothing (that may be too big or too small, too fine or too plain, feel free to swap!) and what precious else can be spared, including a small tube of protein paste. Given that the theater doubles as a childcare center for the basecamp, your character may find that any toddler-aged children will stare hungrily at these tubes!
Ensign Ashley Porter flits about this emergency station at all hours, chatting amicably at people. Explaining the situation. He's reasonably certain it's his fault — the entire 'hatching' process seemed to start after he tripped one day and fell into the Central Chrysalis. This disturbance must have triggered the process of pulling in people from other universes. He's terribly sorry and will say he understands if people want to be angry at him or hate him for it. He also makes mention of the fact that some people have found personal items if they return to the Chrysalis — in eggs, like the ones they woke up in.
The Hatchlings are given a few days to acclimate, and then they are expected to contribute to the duties around camp. The day-to-day life in Basecamp Leviathan is not glamorous. Repairs are always needing to be done, food is always needing to be made, dishes always needing to be washed. Anyone with specialized skills will probably be snapped up by a division before too long!
A few notes:
☆ Your character will at some point be pulled aside and asked about where they're from, what year, any personal information they wish to share, etc. This is no longer described as an 'interrogation' as with the first set of Hatchlings. It's now more of a chat. Captain Childe has deferred this duty to her various underlings, and she will likely not make an appearance here unless a Hatchling says or does something very interesting or meaningful.
☆ The NPCs will be as forthcoming about how the Hatchlings have arrived and what they know about the Chrysalis as possible. Unfortunately to both, the answer is 'not much'. They will still try to be transparent about this.
☆ The NPCs will be as forthcoming about how the Hatchlings have arrived and what they know about the Chrysalis as possible. Unfortunately to both, the answer is 'not much'. They will still try to be transparent about this.
❀ EXPLORE THE BASECAMP
The Engineering Corps is always looking for new members who can contribute to some of its long term infrastructure solutions. The head of this department, Thorkil, is a large man with a booming voice who brews moonshine on the side and is the sort of bright, cheerful soul that can light up a room when he enters it. He is friendly with all the Hatchlings unless given a reason to be otherwise, and he is also very patient, gentle and understanding. If your character has demonstrated engineering skills of any coat or color (mechanical? electrical? outdated by hundreds of years? more advanced by a millennium?) please expect that Thorkil will ask if they'd be willing to help out!
The Security Division is headed up by a rather unpleasant man named Rémi. He neither wants nor, in his opinion, needs the help of the Hatchlings, but he's perfectly willing to let them risk their lives instead of the lives of his people where leaving the basecamp is concerned. Little wonder, most of his division has been chewed up and spit out by the harsh conditions on Ethyraia — can one blame him for being a little protective? If anyone asks about helping here, he's going to respond scornfully and dismissively. However, some of the Hatchlings have earned enough of his goodwill that he will consider, consider letting people have a weapon from Security's stores if they're leaving the Basecamp. (Carrying of non-Hatchling weapons is forbidden within the basecamp itself, so please be mindful!)
The Theatre is another venue that one could help out with — there are stories to be told! The current production is a classic, She Kills Monsters by Qui Nguyen. However, after performing this for the thessyx at the talent show, the theater department is moving onto their next show — Procyonate, for which there are many props to build. As the only truly fortified building in the Basecamp, the theatre doubles as a place to care for children (most of the 'young' survivors are between 13-19 now, but babies have been born to the survivors since their crash-landing!) there is also a need for anyone who excels with toddler care. They are also looking for anyone who can sing, write music, or play instruments. Such people will be hastily recruited and put to work!
The Aid Station is being run by a very harried woman named Sunya Hyacinth, who fits the description of 'overworked and underpaid' to a T. She doesn't have time to reach out to any recruits, but if you wander into the Aid Station you might find yourself being put to work. Just be careful — if she decides you have higher accreditation than she does, she might just decide to dump her practice on your lap for a week so she can go take a vacation! Standard injuries you may see include acid burns, broken bones, and bad cuts and gashes out of the engineering department who's hard at work repairing the sink holes around the base. Some of the 'ill' being treated will also have psychological effects. PTSD is common, and there are no officially 'trained' counsellors, just people who try to listen and help.
The Sanitation Department handles a lot of the day-to-day cleaning that involves sewage, garbage, et al. After all, it's a dirty job, but someone has to do it! Not only will they take just about anyone, but if they warm up to you they'll let you in on a little secret... they've totally started an underground green house where they're growing some interesting plants...
(pot, it's pot).
The Communications Department is headed up by the AI Cartagena, and helps with disseminating useful information to the population, as well as managing the intranet and its infrastructure. Cartagena will be quick to point out (cheerfully) that they don't get days off and would love for someone else to make announcements once in a while! A small group of the communications department is also hard at work on a distress signal, persevering in the belief that someone will come looking for the wayward Adamant.
The Agriculture department could always use a few new green thumbs around their little hydroponic garden units, and of course the Mess Hall is in dire need of someone who can make ten pounds of questionable protein paste taste palpable...
Otherwise, the daily grind in Ethyraia seems to be fairly... well, grind-y. People wake early to manage their chores in the early hours, everyone breaks during the hot hours of the afternoon to nap or lounge around, sometimes they take in the daily movie at the Theatre, and then it's back to work for the afternoon shift. People generally work from 7 AM to 11 AM, and then have between 11 AM and 3 PM 'off' (with the exception of anyone on KP duty) and then work again until 11 PM. Exceptions are: each person's designated 'days off', or recovery time from injuries/etc. Ideally, the Adamant's survivors will work 4 days and has 3 off in a week, but oftentimes this is cancelled due to need.
While it's not mandatory that the Hatchlings work, those that don't 'pull their weight' so to speak will find themselves being increasingly shunned by the community, and the quality of their rations and their overall care will decrease. There isn't enough to go around on the best days, much less when someone isn't contributing at all!
What goes on at the base for me to engage with?:
What else can I do?:
A few additional notes:
The Security Division is headed up by a rather unpleasant man named Rémi. He neither wants nor, in his opinion, needs the help of the Hatchlings, but he's perfectly willing to let them risk their lives instead of the lives of his people where leaving the basecamp is concerned. Little wonder, most of his division has been chewed up and spit out by the harsh conditions on Ethyraia — can one blame him for being a little protective? If anyone asks about helping here, he's going to respond scornfully and dismissively. However, some of the Hatchlings have earned enough of his goodwill that he will consider, consider letting people have a weapon from Security's stores if they're leaving the Basecamp. (Carrying of non-Hatchling weapons is forbidden within the basecamp itself, so please be mindful!)
The Theatre is another venue that one could help out with — there are stories to be told! The current production is a classic, She Kills Monsters by Qui Nguyen. However, after performing this for the thessyx at the talent show, the theater department is moving onto their next show — Procyonate, for which there are many props to build. As the only truly fortified building in the Basecamp, the theatre doubles as a place to care for children (most of the 'young' survivors are between 13-19 now, but babies have been born to the survivors since their crash-landing!) there is also a need for anyone who excels with toddler care. They are also looking for anyone who can sing, write music, or play instruments. Such people will be hastily recruited and put to work!
The Aid Station is being run by a very harried woman named Sunya Hyacinth, who fits the description of 'overworked and underpaid' to a T. She doesn't have time to reach out to any recruits, but if you wander into the Aid Station you might find yourself being put to work. Just be careful — if she decides you have higher accreditation than she does, she might just decide to dump her practice on your lap for a week so she can go take a vacation! Standard injuries you may see include acid burns, broken bones, and bad cuts and gashes out of the engineering department who's hard at work repairing the sink holes around the base. Some of the 'ill' being treated will also have psychological effects. PTSD is common, and there are no officially 'trained' counsellors, just people who try to listen and help.
The Sanitation Department handles a lot of the day-to-day cleaning that involves sewage, garbage, et al. After all, it's a dirty job, but someone has to do it! Not only will they take just about anyone, but if they warm up to you they'll let you in on a little secret... they've totally started an underground green house where they're growing some interesting plants...
(pot, it's pot).
The Communications Department is headed up by the AI Cartagena, and helps with disseminating useful information to the population, as well as managing the intranet and its infrastructure. Cartagena will be quick to point out (cheerfully) that they don't get days off and would love for someone else to make announcements once in a while! A small group of the communications department is also hard at work on a distress signal, persevering in the belief that someone will come looking for the wayward Adamant.
The Agriculture department could always use a few new green thumbs around their little hydroponic garden units, and of course the Mess Hall is in dire need of someone who can make ten pounds of questionable protein paste taste palpable...
Otherwise, the daily grind in Ethyraia seems to be fairly... well, grind-y. People wake early to manage their chores in the early hours, everyone breaks during the hot hours of the afternoon to nap or lounge around, sometimes they take in the daily movie at the Theatre, and then it's back to work for the afternoon shift. People generally work from 7 AM to 11 AM, and then have between 11 AM and 3 PM 'off' (with the exception of anyone on KP duty) and then work again until 11 PM. Exceptions are: each person's designated 'days off', or recovery time from injuries/etc. Ideally, the Adamant's survivors will work 4 days and has 3 off in a week, but oftentimes this is cancelled due to need.
While it's not mandatory that the Hatchlings work, those that don't 'pull their weight' so to speak will find themselves being increasingly shunned by the community, and the quality of their rations and their overall care will decrease. There isn't enough to go around on the best days, much less when someone isn't contributing at all!
What goes on at the base for me to engage with?:
You are free to invent NPCs to have (minor) antagonistic clashes with, or who can flag down your character to assist with something, or who you can have to help 'rescue' on a mission outside the Leviathan. We want to give players as much freedom as we can within the structure of the game, and we would rather people not feel limited.
What else can I do?:
There is no one keeping your character physically at the Basecamp! If they would like to leave and go exploring on their own, that is perfectly welcome. For the sake of the TDM, we would ask that anyone choosing this option refrain from asking us any in-depth questions — we will happily collaborate with people once they're in the game.
A few additional notes:
☆ If your character leaves the basecamp and wanders outside the Leviathan, they may begin to notice that what they perhaps took as a giant cave is actually an enormous dragon. Everything they see that seems 'human made' will look varying levels of worn down, patched, repaired and patched again. This is not a place of prosperity and happiness. Many people are recently injured, or have new scars or missing limbs.
☆ For any 'missions' or such happening outside the basecamp, please refer to our plot engagement page! We are always willing to work with players to facilitate storylines for their characters. However, please keep in mind our time limitations on major tier plots.
☆ If you think your character wouldn't be interested in helping or pitching in, that's fine! However, please be aware of the consequences that will follow — a decrease in NPC esteem, support, etc. The NPCs understand that the Hatchlings didn't ask to be here, but they simply do not have the resources or manpower to accommodate for anyone who doesn't want to work or assist in engaging with local infrastructure. Your character will not be ICly ousted from the basecamp, but they will experience a poorer quality of food and little social engagement from the NPCs. Even Captain Childe picks up a trenching tool with the best of them!
☆ For any 'missions' or such happening outside the basecamp, please refer to our plot engagement page! We are always willing to work with players to facilitate storylines for their characters. However, please keep in mind our time limitations on major tier plots.
☆ If you think your character wouldn't be interested in helping or pitching in, that's fine! However, please be aware of the consequences that will follow — a decrease in NPC esteem, support, etc. The NPCs understand that the Hatchlings didn't ask to be here, but they simply do not have the resources or manpower to accommodate for anyone who doesn't want to work or assist in engaging with local infrastructure. Your character will not be ICly ousted from the basecamp, but they will experience a poorer quality of food and little social engagement from the NPCs. Even Captain Childe picks up a trenching tool with the best of them!
❀ A DEPARTURE AND A BIG PROBLEM
Unfortunately, the thessyx clear out of the basecamp shortly after witnessing the second hatching, before the new children of the leviathan are cleared of quarantine. Their exit is prompt and quiet, their visit clearing like the end of a summer rain. They do not make the rounds for goodbyes, but simply remove themselves graciously from their hosts' camp.
However, even after their departure, the basecamp is abuzz with questions about the thessyx. How had they known the hatchlings arrived? What did they mean about chosen? While some are markedly suspicious and moody about the special treatment afforded to the hatchlings by their long-term neighbors, most of the Adamant survivors have been strongly influenced by the generosity and composure of those hatchlings who shared their food during the feast and who represented the hatchlings during the meeting with Childe. Word gets around!
The theater folks pack up their talent show, which culminated in a rousing performance of Tristan and Yseult that brought tears to the thessyx's eyes (or would have, if they had tear ducts). The art installations, however, remain. New paintings hang and new sculptures stand in the streets, plazas, and public spaces near the theater and the bunks.
Failing considerable progress in his extermination campaign, Rémi and the security force stay busy reluctantly adopting the hatchlings' plan to funnel any stray lingering 'shredder moles' (their new names) from the basecamp as they crop out of the various sinkholes. They use a two-pronged attack to steer the moles in the right direction: they use strong-smelling cleaning chemicals to divert the moles from high-value areas like the mess hall, aid station, and bunks; and they use metal plates to create temporary tunnels that funnel the critters on the fastest route between the sink hole and the edge of camp, where they can scamper off to join their surviving friends.
However, many of the critters are dead, some of the animal corpses divided between the aid station and the engineering department that would seek to do science on them. In medical, they're trying to better understand the anatomy of the critters and develop an understanding of the natural wildlife on this planet that could help them develop antidotes for various poisons and so forth. Similarly, engineering is interested in making use of their hides for greater safety for the Adamant's survivors, but it seems like the grunt work of figuring out how to separate the impenetrable hides from the carcasses is left to the newbies. The rest of the engineering department has bigger fish to fry — the giant holes appearing all over the base.
All hands are on deck from engineering volunteers as Thorkil tries to rally an effort to fortify the very ground beneath the basecamp where the shredder moles had tunneled. This project will continue for the remainder of the month and involve some particular efforts by innovative hatchlings like Ian, but also more traditional approaches like soil fills, new concrete pours, and the erecting of support beams that dig deeper into the earth beneath the steel plates of the basecamp's flooring.
Anyone with engineering who isn't working on this project is charged with helping with the fortifications of the theater, which is the de facto emergency shelter, or repairing the showers to prevent the loss of too much desalinated water. Regardless, the basecamp is thoroughly under construction in most of its major community areas. Basketball games are cancelled for the foreseeable future!
Life around the basecamp:
☆ More than fifty people were injured in sinkhole incidents in total. Things are pretty crazy around the aid station right now. Most of them were only moderately injured — broken bones, deep cuts, that kind of thing.
☆ More mouths to feed mean tighter belts! People may notice their rations in the mess hall shrinking this month while the outreach department works on recalibrating what's safe to share following the intrusion of the shredder moles and the arrival of all the hatchlings.
☆ A holiday called Unwara is on the 22nd! Community prayer services are offered at one of the temples in the basecamp. The prayers center around the relationship between rain and the first harvest (obviously there will be no such harvest on Ethyraia, but this religion emerged on Earth between 2100 and 2800). Celebrants will be dressed in their finest and may be sharing zwetschgendatschi with their neighbors. Late on the 22nd, they'll be serving freshly prepared strips of goat jerky with anyone who joins them in their evening prayers.
☆ With the gymnasium shut down, people are playing soccer (or football) in the streets. It's becoming a bit of a rowdiness problem. It's probably just the heat making people stir crazy.
☆ Kainé, Zeta, Lottie, 9S, 2B, Kaz, Lys, and Maria Juliana have vanished, leaving behind allergy medication, makeup, a bible,rosary beads, five two swords (one two-handed), a hunting knife, two pods for combat assistance, two spears, a radio transmitter, some clothes, a walking cane with a crow's head, a deck of playing cards, and a jeweled hairpiece. Unless someone claims it (please drop a note in Mod Questions if you do), the community outreach department will be collecting and redistributing these items.
☆ More mouths to feed mean tighter belts! People may notice their rations in the mess hall shrinking this month while the outreach department works on recalibrating what's safe to share following the intrusion of the shredder moles and the arrival of all the hatchlings.
☆ A holiday called Unwara is on the 22nd! Community prayer services are offered at one of the temples in the basecamp. The prayers center around the relationship between rain and the first harvest (obviously there will be no such harvest on Ethyraia, but this religion emerged on Earth between 2100 and 2800). Celebrants will be dressed in their finest and may be sharing zwetschgendatschi with their neighbors. Late on the 22nd, they'll be serving freshly prepared strips of goat jerky with anyone who joins them in their evening prayers.
☆ With the gymnasium shut down, people are playing soccer (or football) in the streets. It's becoming a bit of a rowdiness problem. It's probably just the heat making people stir crazy.
☆ Kainé, Zeta, Lottie, 9S, 2B, Kaz, Lys, and Maria Juliana have vanished, leaving behind allergy medication, makeup, a bible,
❀ RESEARCH OPPORTUNITY
When they finally get a few minutes around the aid station towards the end of the week and most of the injuries have cleared out or been dressed and redressed, one of the aid workers who had done an autopsy on the shredder moles puts out a job posting on the network:
WANTED: BRAVE SOULS WITH AN EYE FOR ADVENTURE TO INVESTIGATE SHREDDER MOLE HABITATS. COME TO AID STATION FOR MORE DETAILS.
Anyone who answers the advertisement will find the aid worker busily tying clean bandages on some of the worst cases of the sinkhole incidents. The tall and broad-chested nonbinary individual will explain that someone needs to trace back the source of the shredder moles and figure out where they're living so that it's easier for the engineers and xenobiologists to team up and make sure they don't wind up digging back under.
This mission would entail following the shredder moles' tracks back to their homes, charting some of their observable behavior (WITHOUT, they emphasize, INTERFERING WITH THE TUNNELS) especially with regards to diet, and reporting back.
A few notes:
WANTED: BRAVE SOULS WITH AN EYE FOR ADVENTURE TO INVESTIGATE SHREDDER MOLE HABITATS. COME TO AID STATION FOR MORE DETAILS.
Anyone who answers the advertisement will find the aid worker busily tying clean bandages on some of the worst cases of the sinkhole incidents. The tall and broad-chested nonbinary individual will explain that someone needs to trace back the source of the shredder moles and figure out where they're living so that it's easier for the engineers and xenobiologists to team up and make sure they don't wind up digging back under.
This mission would entail following the shredder moles' tracks back to their homes, charting some of their observable behavior (WITHOUT, they emphasize, INTERFERING WITH THE TUNNELS) especially with regards to diet, and reporting back.
A few notes:
☆ You can feel free to handwave involvement in this mission, but if you'd like specific details about the shredder moles beyond what has been added to the bestiary, feel free to ask!
☆ Only characters who have established a positive rapport with Rémi will get access to rain shields for this mission, so make sure to group up with someone who's done their time kissing ass to Security!
☆ Only characters who have established a positive rapport with Rémi will get access to rain shields for this mission, so make sure to group up with someone who's done their time kissing ass to Security!
ᴍᴇᴍᴏʀɪᴀʟ ᴡᴀʟʟ
she doesn't announce herself, just falls in beside him. works quietly, though much of what she's doing is mimicking him. she doesn't have the skills for this.
at length, ）
Can't sleep?
（ she says it lightly, more joke than statement of fact. it's true of both of them. ）
no subject
We're having irreconcilable differences. It's a mutual separation.
( he sighs it out unhappily, then pauses only for a second go glance over and assess her. puts his eyes right back to the task at hand for the return question. )
What about you?
no subject
The guy two hammocks down from me thinks he's real subtle about （ she makes a casual, offhand gesture that's impossible to mistake as anything but what she means, jerking off. ） you know. He isn't, for the record.
（ whether it's true or not isn't what matters. she's still figuring him out, and that means prodding at him from a variety of angles. ）
Decided to give the poor guy some privacy.
no subject
it's at a whole new level these days, to the point that even his disgust seems a little muted. she's probably bullshitting him, but if they're acting out a script, he knows that's his part. he plays this game with Steve, because everything's always fine and they prove it with an easy back and forth rather than actually talking about things.
he shakes his head slowly, projecting disapproval that only really runs about skin deep. )
Surprised you didn't threaten to cut it off.
( He would've. )
no subject
（ the body has needs. if she were ever squeamish over that sort of thing, she never would have survived the red room. ）
So, you think you're going to have a grand reconciliation?
（ with sleep.
or whoever. not that she'd call he and rogers estranged, exactly, but she didn't miss the way tensions were high the last time they were all together. ）
no subject
(they're alright, anyway. had the closest thing to a talk they ever really get — an earnest apology on his end, a gentle dismissal on Steve's, and then they carried on like that somehow fixed it all.)
he huffs out a breath that is and isn't a laugh. )
Doubt it. We've been on the outs since before you were born.
( hurr hurr hurr, old age. he reaches out to take a screwdriver from her, uses it on a screw that his left hand isn't quite numble enough to twist. )
Used to be I could drop just about anywhere and sleep like the dead for half a day. Now...
( Ha. Nope. Four hours on a good night. )
no subject
зимний солдат was a bogeyman in the red room. something used to frighten the girls. the difference was, she was never afraid. ）
Do you dream about them? The people you killed as the Winter Soldier.
（ it's one hell of a segue. a question asked the way a knife is twisted, blunt. for all that he's american, there's too much russian in him now to take offense. ）
no subject
you'd think he expected the question based on the way he doesn't look up, or flinch, or stop working. he didn't, but it's not exactly shocking. just kind of banked on them riding along on that surface level acquaintanceship they've maintained so far.
guess they're skipping pretense for a minute. probably should've expected it would happen eventually. )
Yup.
( he answers after a slightly too long pause, his voice toneless and casual. it's a wall made out of nonchalance. a second later, he lowers the screwdriver to turn his attention to her head-on. her past's close to as dirty as his, at least if they're comparing it to everyone else they know. )
What about you?
( his look's expectant. maybe a little abrasive, but not necessarily for the reasons someone might think. it's about establishing whether they're getting a give and take in this exchange, or if she plans on leveling him with questions without cracking herself open just a little in turn. it's a test; the wrong answer means that topic ends here. the right, maybe they'll see where it goes. )
no subject
no one who survived what he survived would have a taste for having things taken with nothing offered in recompense, either.
natasha's silence isn't nearly so long. she says, lightly: ）
Well, I was never the Winter Soldier.
（ i was never brainwashed. not the way he was. not the way the widows that came after her were. unforgivable sins are just that. hers, and hers alone. the why of it isn't important. she still did those things.
she wets her lips. then carries on, as lightly as before: ）
I try not to. Some nights I'm more successful than others.
（ she hated staying at the avengers tower. it was too big, too open, too — stark. it was almost easier, when she was on the run with the others. when she knew steve or sam would be up, keeping watch out the window. she could say she was living for them, then. that always made it easier. she never quite got the hang of doing things for just herself. there always had to be a caveat. ）
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another beat, just another second of assessment, and then he nods as he turns his eyes back down to the distraction at hand. )
Feel free to share your technique.
( he mutters dryly; however she's trying, whatever success she's getting, it sounds better than nothing. can't sleep on the bottom bunk anymore after that time he accidentally headbutted somebody in the back after sitting up too fast. the guy let out a yowl, frankly it was embarrassing for the both of them. )
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（ that's it, that's her technique. she sleeps because she needs to. because people depend on her. because she's one of the only humans in the avengers with nothing but a gun, and she needs to be at the top of her game no matter who they're up against. when that stops being the reason to be well-rested, well, she stops being well-rested.
dying to save half the universe should have eased her conscience. it didn't, though.
she cocks her head to one side, and as she reaches for another screw to hold in place for him: ）
Why didn't you kill me?
（ she doesn't clarify which time. she means odessa. he'll know she means odessa. ）
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there's another question. he remembers it so goddamn vibrantly in hindsight; the heat of sun-warmed stone, the rifle, his state of mind. he licks his lips, the screwdriver stilling, pretense falling away while he determines just how much he wants to give away here.
he starts out a little reluctant, but his tone's steady like he's rattling off facts. )
I wasn't...
( false start; he shakes his head and tries again. )
When I was the Winter Soldier... it's not like there was somebody else in my head, or like I was... mindless. I could still think, it just... you ever have a dream where a small part of you knows you're dreaming, but you're not entirely playing it out, you're mostly... watching it?
( muffled and muted, seven layers deep, underneath the water — and you instinctively know what's going to happen next, except really it's the fact that you think it that makes it come to pass. you're writing the dream from the back seat. )
They gave me rules. Operating instructions. A whole structure to follow when I was given a mission, but there's... space in between that they don't even think about sometimes. They said to take out the target. They didn't say no survivors. Didn't give me any black and white about what to do with you, so I got to make a choice.
( and it's there he glances up, shrugs his right shoulder a little. )
I chose not to.
( there was freedom in the cracks in between directives, and that's where he lived whenever part of him started to wake up again. )
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he scared her. once upon a time.
so does barnes, but for a different reason. she's used to fear. it makes her sharp, like pain. usually, she buries it.
but she's only human.
she breathes out, resisting the urge to put a hand over the scar. i chose not to. sometimes it's all about what you can claw back for yourself. she used to steal food. ）
Well.
（ her voice is pitched wrong. there's emotion in it, the sort she doesn't like. it's a vulnerability. she's used to weaponizing it, not laying it out and trusting it will be acknowledged, respected, left alone. so after a moment, she clears her throat. ）
For what it's worth, I'm glad you did.
（ it gave her time. to know steve, and sam, to find yelena. little things. human moments, that even now seem to scatter like stars in the black horizon of her memory. ）
You do owe me, though. Ruined two of my favourite shirts.
（ the first at odessa. the second at the overpass. blood washes out, but she doesn't care for sewing up fabric. ）
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he can't say you're welcome, or I'm glad, too. those just aren't the kinds of things you say to somebody after something like that. some things are too big, some responses are too light for them, and he'd rather say nothing at all than give it less than it deserves.
acknowledged, respected, and then left alone.
he tips his head in concession, then goes back to turning his screwdriver on the one she held up for him. )
I'll keep that in mind.
( he's not joking. see if it doesn't come up sometime in the future when she least expects it. in the meantime, after a contemplative stretch of silence, he breaks it irreverently. )
Who's the craziest target you ever had?
( is that inappropriate as hell? yes. fucked up? absolutely. the darkest humor on the planet, and still somehow it feels like levity compared to the rest of this conversation. it's just, who else could even compete with them, you know? )
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Crazy how?
（ she can think of at least three different ways something could register. ）
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Crazy as in... off the wall. Wouldn't even believe it. Unexpected. You know, crazy.
( tell him what famous people you killed, Nat. politicians, CEOs, influensters. )
cw for... murder? drug overdose?? horrible stuff?
October 3rd, 2008. There was this pop star. Had a big cult following. I don't know how it happened, I never asked, but he found out about some shady arms deal, and someone wanted him gone. But his security was insane. We're talking an entire battalion of former special forces, full background checks, NDAs — everything and then some. So, we rigged a contest to get me close. A backstage meet and greet. I had to pretend to be his biggest fan. Once I was backstage, he got a little handsy. Time-release poison on my lips. Looked like a drug overdose forty-eight hours later.
（ it predated shield. but then, considering how long she's been active — most things do. after a moment — ）
I had orders from Fury, you know. To take out Stark if he was ever more than SHIELD wanted to tangle with.
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yeah, their lines of work might have been similar, but Jesus Christ were they different.
and then there's Stark. some of the incredulity fades out, replaced with something solemn. his lips press together for a second; it's knee-jerk to think about Howard. he'd have danced at Howard's wedding.
never mind that. )
Would you have done it? If he asked?
( she answers to herself, in the end. makes her own choices. )
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（ fury never put in the kill order. that's the thing about being an assassin, if you let the what-ifs take hold of you, they grasp at you like clawing hands and pull you down beneath the waves. you drown in them. and there are enough other things between sewer and skyline to drown you in their line of work.
she likes stark well enough. trusts him at least a little. but she knows, too well, all the ways he was a threat to security. all the ways he was a threat to the world he worked so hard to save and did, eventually, die for.
fury operated in the twilight, that grey space at the edges of the light. but natasha was always meant for shadow.
she could leave it at that. he'll understand. but after a moment, she sits back, studies the monument. she bets, whatever his funeral looked like, his headstone was the most ostentatious thing around. probably gives off free wifi, just to flip the bird to elon musk.
she thinks, very carefully, about what to say next.
then: ）
Early on enough, I probably would have. But after you save the world beside someone a time or two, things get — （ she makes a soft sound, a sort of mmm. ） muddier. You know?
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he offers up a little smile; it reads I'm following you, but I can't relate. )
I'll take your word for it.
( the one time he fought for something as high stakes as the world, he got disintegrated. that's one bonding experience he doesn't have under his belt.
fighting together is fighting together, though. at least that much he understands innately. )
For what it's worth...
( he starts awkwardly, swaying a little. he props his heel up on a little bit of jutting metal, settles his good elbow on it. a little bit of procrastinating, reluctance even though he's volunteering this of his own accord. )
Seeing the way you turned out, the stuff you've been doing... I don't know, it gives me a little hope.
( not that it's a 1:1 ratio, not that he's saying if she can do it, anybody can do it, just that there's... kind of a precedent set. that someone like them — weapons, hands bloody, capable of things Steve or Sam probably couldn't even guess at, track record practically a bingo card — can come out the other end the way she did. he respects the hell out of her for it. )
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（ easier to joke than to look too deeply at that. it's an odd, echoing mirror of some of her talks with yelena. she doesn't want to be looked up to. admired. respected. but she had gotten used to it. she was never comfortable with it — tony and thor probably were the only ones that really were — but she adapted. that's her whole gig, adaptation.
but bucky is perhaps one of the only people it costs her nothing to take it from. nothing to swallow down. he says it, he means it, she takes it and puts it away.
she shoves her messy hair back over one shoulder. it's grimy in ways she doesn't usually have to deal with. soap's scarce, she's doing her part. it's oddly liberating — she doesn't need to worry about being a femme fatale here, no heads to turn. not caring about being perfectly coiffed and manicured in the middle of a firefight is new.
she gives him a look that has nearly nothing behind it. emotion excised from her expression. it gives normal people the creeps, but it's just — learned behaviour.
after a moment — ）
Just try not to follow in my footsteps, huh? This team has enough martyrs.
（ and steve and sam are it.
honestly, she's glad it wasn't down to her and steve for the soul stone. that's a fight she might not have won. ）
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( he returns wry and slow, shooting her a look out of the corner of his eye just to telegraph that he's kidding.
he can die if he wants to, he can leave his friends behind 'causein any case, it seems like no matter how many times he tries to die the universe just keeps on herding him along, so. guess he'll cross that bridge when he falls off it. )
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（ making light of trauma, memory issues, and authority figures all at once? it's ya gal. ）
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( All in the same breath, the same tone — completely deadpan.
And so they're back to companionable work, admittedly even a little more companionable than it started out — for him, at least. )
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（ flirting? maybe a little. it's easy. comfortable. teasing men from the forties has become something of a purview with her.
but she does hand it over, after a moment. ）